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Bondage And BDSM Part 2

This article was originally published in our June 2004 Newsletter.

Whips, Clips, Clamps and Pain

The basic ideas behind BDSM were covered in last months article. This month we will cover some slightly more 'heavy' and painful BDSM activities. These include the use of nipple clamps and whips. Some people like to go rather further and enjoy even more severe activities but they are much more dangerous and very few people take part in them so we won't be covering them here.

BDSM If you have not experienced the 'ecstasy' of pain it is probably difficult for you to imagine how pain can also be pleasure. The theory is that experiencing pain raises the levels of endorphines in the brain which are also produced during 'normal' pleasurable activities. Thus the excitement and 'high' experienced on a roller coaster or during conventional sex for example, can also be experienced through pain.

There is a distinction to be made between pain delivered just as reinforcement of a domination/submissive scene and the receiving of pain as a method of direct arousal. I am discussing the latter rather than the former, though it must be said that the receiver even with that tends to be playing out a submissive role possibly in restraints for instance rope bondage, chains or stocks. On some occasions the receiver is just asked to bend over a piece of furniture or over the giver's knee. Different people prefer or even require different scenes for it to work for them.

Playing Safe

To experience this pleasurable side of pain usually needs a number of prerequisites. The person experiencing the pain (the 'receiver', 'sub' or 'slave') must have total confidence in the person administrating it (the 'giver', 'dom' or 'master/mistress') and in the 'scene' itself. Part of that confidence comes from the two knowing each other's abilities, needs and limits and part from the receiver having trust in the giver and having a 'safe word' to halt the proceedings.

It is worth explaining the use of a 'safe word' yet again.

In case there is some misunderstanding, the people engaging in any sort of 'scene' where the game or activity may involve cries of 'stop' or 'no' etc, should agree on a 'safe word' which is to be used should things go wrong. This is extremely important particularly in BDSM since often the receiver is put in a position (such as being tied up) where they are unable to escape from the situation. At the same time the receiver and giver enjoy the receiver 'pleading for mercy', or making noises such as a yelp at the stroke of a whip.

While the receiver is enjoying this and moving towards his/her feeling of ecstasy all is well. However sometimes things don't go according to plan, the pleasure vanishes and suddenly the receiver starts reacting as anyone would in a real life situation when being beaten up. Immediately the receiver can give the 'safe word' and the giver will instantly stop and release the receiver (and comfort them if neccessary). BDSM

Arousal And Skill In Whipping

The process of getting the receiver to a high level of arousal requires quite a degree of skill and knowledge, both of the principles and of the receiver.

Take the use of a whip.

For the most part it is neccessary to begin with gentle strokes, pausing between each and giving time to provide caressess with the hand or whip itself. This gets the receiver into the mental state required to 'take' harder strokes later. The initial whipping causes the blood to flow to the area and increases the sensitivity, so there remains a fine line at any point in the session between moving forward and going too far too quickly.

Whips are usually used on the buttocks. Make sure you aim low on the fleshy part if you are giving hard strokes as hard strokes higher up may cause damage to internal organs.

Buttocks are a favorite area since they are not easily damaged and have that psychological connection with punishment for being naughty, but any area of the body (excluding eyes - be very carefull of avoiding eyes if you use any sort of beating or whipping instrument near the head) could be used. For instance whipping or beating of the genitals is quite common. The important thing is to vary the strength of the strokes according to the part of the body.

As the intensity of the whip reaches its climax, the level of which will vary from person to person, some people actually achieve orgasm. Others like direct stimulation of their genitals mixed with the whipping to reach orgasm. Probably most do not reach orgasm, do not expect to or do not wish to - their 'high' from the whipping is a 'high' all of its own.

Instruments Of Pain

Many people (both men and women) like having their nipples squeezed. For many a gentle squeeze is pleasurable and anything harder quickly becomes unbearable although usually the more turned on a person is the harder the squeeze can be while remaining pleasurable. Yet again it is the level of endorphines that seem to help turn pain to pleasure.

Other people find that the application of a strong or spikey squeeze to the nipples provides just the right pain to get their endophine levels up and increase their arousal.

There are two main types of nipple toys - clips and clamps. Strictly speaking clips are spring loaded jaws and clamps are screwed up. This distinction is not reliably reflected in the names given to toys. The pulling of squeezed nipples by the weight of the clips/clamps and possible attached chain changes the sensation considerably.

Look out for what the jaws are like (are they spikey, smooth, wide or narrow); how wide do they open; can the jaws minimum opening be adjusted (with spring loaded clips), how strong is the spring; how heavy are the clips or clamps and chain (if any).

It is surprising how many factors affect the affectiveness and sensations produced by nipple clips/clamps.

Types Of Whips

Similarly there is a wide range of whips available which not only vary in quality of construction and their aesthetic appeal but also in the sensations produced. Purists will argue that not all the following are whips so perhaps I should have called them tools for beating!
  • Short multi strand.

    These have a a bundle of strands of varying weights and materials. Generally thin light weight strands are more gentle than thick heavy strands. Different materials also sound different.


  • Longer multi strand.

    These can provide a much strong effect and may be called a 'flogger'.


  • Single long strand.

    This is the sort of whip you think of in connection with cowboys. When used it makes a cracking sounding. You may be surprised to learn that this is caused by the end of the whip breaking the sound barrier as it flicks at the end of a stroke! This makes the bull whip potentially quite dangerous especially as it is difficult to aim accurately.


  • A flat bendy strip.

    This is often called a paddle or slapper and is not really a whip. It has a charactistic smacking sound and feels more like a thump. It may have two strips - one over the other.


  • A flat bendy strip with a longitudinal slit.

    The tawse is really a paddle with a split.


  • A cane

    Even further from a whip but used quite often to provide a similar but more localised sensation.


Conclusion

Of those readers not already familiar with BDSM some of you may now be thinking "This is not for me"; others "I'd like to have a try"; and a few "This is what I have been looking for all my life". The point being there is a great diversity in human sexuality.

In our opinion, so long as people take care, play safe and don't hurt themselves or others either physically (in a negative way) or psychologically and they are adults engaging in the activities with full and willing consent, then people should be respected for themselves.

If you don't wish to get involved - that's fine too.

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