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5: Back To Basics

One of the trendiest phrases relating to all types of activities is 'back to basics'. This is also true when thinking about sex and self-exploration. Find out what truly turns you on by starting again with how you feel about your body. As the years go by (too quickly for most) it is amazing how much your mind and body changes. Mentally and physically in ten years our attitude and look can change dramatically. If you feel this way - take stock and re-discover yourself!

Self-exploration is a good way to do this. It helps you to discover what parts of your body are your erogenous zones now and perhaps remind you of areas that you had forgotten about!

You and your partner can choose to explore each other one at a time or on your own. It is probably better on your own as you will not be inhibited by what perhaps your partner thinks you should like. Also you can try things out that you may feel too embarrassed to ask your partner to do until you feel more confident.

The following suggestions assume you are female For a man exchange 'penis' for 'clitoris' and 'vulva' and don't start looking for your vagina!

You need to find a time when you can be relaxed and undisturbed - this is very important. You will be looking for quite small signs of differing responses. It won't be possible if you are or might be disturbed at any moment, so organise your busy life so you can have a good hour to yourself.

Start with a relaxing bath, then adjust the lighting to help get you into the right frame of mind. Use candles if you like, and make sure you are comfortable and warm.

Lie down and start caressing your arms, legs, chest and abdomen. Then caress your breasts and nipples.

All the time concentrate on the sensations; what your body feels like to your hands and what your hands feel like to your body; what feels good and what feels even better!

When you are ready move on to the genitalia. With lubricated fingers, gently stroke the outside of your vulva. Alter the amount of pressure you apply and use different types of massage movements. Move to the front of your vulva and feel the pencil-like structure, the body of your clitoris. Concentrate on this, moving your fingers up, down and across.

Remember the object of the exercise is to experiment with sensations rather than become fully aroused. Ensuring your fingers are well lubricated, massage the inner sides of each of the vaginal lips and around the entrance to your vagina. Follow them forward to the clitoris. Sometimes the clitoris can be too sensitive to touch directly, so reduce the pressure or approach it from either side.

Try applying pressure to very small areas with a fingertip and then large areas with the whole palm of your hand.

Try touching just at the entrance to the vagina, just inside the entrance and fully inside. What areas feel good to be touched?

Try touching your perineum (the area between your vaginal entrance and your anus). Also try touching the anal area. If you are not used to it you may be surprised to find how pleasant touching you anus is. If you are not, you may need a little courage to try - but it is worth it! When touching the anal area be sure to be gentle with a finger tip - tiny areas even close together can vary very markedly in response. Gently inserting the tip of a finger into your anal entrance is also worth exploring, especially if you haven't tried it before. For this make sure your finger nails are not sharp or too long. If they are try a well lubricated slim vibrator, dildo or butt plug.

You may discover areas that really turn you on that you didn't know existed. Even if you don't find out anything new I'm sure you would have had fun looking!

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